Perhaps one of the most perplexing, but also amusing, things about little boys is their need to be using their power to conquer evil. They are constantly at war, or running down hall screaming in capes and masks to ward off bad guys. Lately they have taken to tying grandparents up. First they strapped grandma to a chair and then last weekend they had my grandparents in handcuffs, which they told me was the direct result of him robbing a bank. Geesh.
 |
| Connor with Grandpa Dewey in handcuffs, March 2012 |
For the longest time I tried to eradicate this kind of play. It just seemed too violent, too domineering, too gory; too embarassing. Since I consider myself more of a pacifist this is particuarly distressing. But no matter how I drew the boundaries my kids still found/ needed creative ways to include this kind of play. We'll just use rubber bullets mom, Cris says. This is my spy detective equipment it shoots: bombs, dirt, bullets water, love, silly string, and everything else. Connor is not quite as creative. His pursuits still often begin with chop head off and then he completes them by coloring all over himself and tell me it is blood. Gross.
A nanny friend of mine reminds me that to the children it is not real. They know it is a game and feel exasperated when adults are constantly trying to get them to dumb down their pretend. They know that they can't actually shoot anyone. Sylvia, you are quite wise. It reminds me much of a marvelous quote from
The Little Prince by Antoine Saint Exupery: (If you have never read this book, do yourself a favor and start it tomorrow.) "
Les grandes personnes ne comprennent jamais rien toutes seules, et
c'est fatigant, pour les enfants, de toujours et toujours leur donner
des explications.
Grown-ups never understand anything by themselves, and
it is
tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to
them.
On the flip side of the war and gore play one of my favorite things is when little boys take on the task of being sweet caregivers. Especially when they are gushing with demonstration. Then they are constantly bringing me little trinkets of affection- flowers for my hair, locks of their own hair! (Ahem, Cristopher), love notes, and objects/junk they have found around the house to wrap. Equally charming is when they play doctor. Cris has been playing doctor a lot after they had doctor week at school. We all get to be his patients.
 |
| Dr. Cristopher gives Calyn a checkup |
Apparently these skills can also be transferred to animals. Last week they had taken all their stuffed animals out and bandaged them all over with masking tape. They informed me that they were doctors and that these poor animals had all been in a fire. They even wrote them lots of prescriptions! How I love these samples of sweetness!
